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therapist, I sometimes have to stop my couples in the middle of the argument to ask them what they are fighting about.

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Researchers found when scanning speed daters’ brains, those whose dorsomedial prefrontal cortex lit up were more likely to pursue a date with those they found to be attractive.

A 2012 study published in found the medial prefrontal cortex, which mediates decision-making, gets more active when you see someone you are physically attracted to.

April Masini , relationship expert and author says it’s common for people to be attracted to those they know they’re incompatible with, even if it’s someone they hate.“Having sex to express feelings — whether the feelings are hatred, sadness, frustration, joy or love — is just a way of connecting.

Hate sex is also that — a way to connect over a feeling.

It’s that adrenaline rush people crave and crossing boundaries they normally wouldn’t with conventional sex. For some, hate sex also replaces feelings of anger and vulnerability that are difficult and painful to tolerate.